This is a chronicling of the life and times of a sophomore nursing student in the ADN(Associate's Diploma of Nursing) program at a local community college, henceforth referred to as CCC. Names have been changed(or given ridiculous nicknames) to protect the innocent, the guilty, and the apathetic.
It's the start of the sophomore year at CCC, the LPNs we started school with have all graduated, and a brand new batch of fresh eager nursing students have started. I feel sorry them, they have no idea what is coming, and we sophomores are vindictive enough about being shuttled off to the deep dark recesses of the ATC's (Aerospace Technology Center's) lecture hall that we aren't going to warn them.
The start of the semester hasn't been too bad, actually, aside from freezing in the ATC building for six hours a day two days a week. Our Chairperson for the department, Ms Boo, retired, and at the start of the new semester, we found out that Miss Pronounce got her position. We are bitter, Miss Pronounce won't be able to torture the Freshmen with her eloqution skills like she did with us. Also, The Chipmunk and The Cheerleader were both promoted as instructors from Freshmen to Sophomore. It's nice to see them advancing with us. Bonus, Chipmunk will have a wonderful cardiac lecture. Sadness, he will not be able to induce migraines for the Freshmen going over Acid/Base and Arterial Blood Gases. The Sophomores are sad, and envious.
We started out the semester with a bang, going right into my favorite subjects. Those that deal with the mind. After two good lectures on Substance Abuse from Ms. Napoleon, we got two lectures on Schizoprenia from The Evil Twin(the Good Twin is a freshman teacher). It started to slow down with Mood Disorders from Ms.Husk.
The grip of boredom is like a combative patient putting you in a chokehold. It's painful, and it can make you panic at first, but if you fall limp and cease to care, it'll loosen it's grip.... or if someone comes by and breaks the grip. Like today.
Six hours of orientation to The Psych Place, which really did need six hours of orientation. The first four hours, I sat next to Niki, my best friend and partner in crime, and we exchanged comments and notes back and forth about psych, and politics, and the funny accents and southern phrases used. Then we got to the last two hours, how to deal with combative patients. It was fun! It was exciting! But, also, very humiliating...
A lot of the moves shown are good, for about 45 seconds, enough time to get help. Some of the moves are good for several minutes. Or, in my case, some moves are impossible, improbable or incomplete due to my height. For the record, I'm only two inches too tall to be a midget, and I am slightly disproportionate in my arms. This was made clear, along with the fact that we watched way to much Meet the Robinsons when we tried to do the hair-grab technique.
A patient grabs your head, your put both hands on the patient's hand and pull it into your head, while pulling your elbows in to guard your face. Riiiight.
"Why are you not seizing the boy?!"
"I have a big head, and little arms. I'm just not sure how well this plan was thought through...Master?"
Day 5 of semester 4 survived. 235 days to freedom.
